


Broken Glass

by HoneyGrunge



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Complicated Relationships, Drug Abuse, Frottage, Gay Sex, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, semi-happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:33:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26836003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyGrunge/pseuds/HoneyGrunge
Summary: !! TW // this fic contains heavy suicidal ideation !!Dr. Paul Lingard has been in a tumultuous relationship with David ever since the traumatic death of Paul's husband. David saved him from suicide and gave him a new reason to live. But now, the sudden arrival of some very important strangers threatens to take away everything that Paul clings to in order to keep himself alive.
Relationships: David García/Paul Lingard
Kudos: 5





	Broken Glass

Paul slumped in the office chair and let out a shaky sigh. Today had been particularly rough: he’d had to patch up five scouts and one stranger with a gut wound. He still wasn’t sure if two of the scouts would last the night. One had been shot three times, then had her hand smashed by something heavy with sharp edges. Paul just couldn’t understand why so many of their scouts were coming back horribly injured. Joan waved it off, blaming all of the smaller communities and saying that their scouts simply kept getting caught up in militia violence, but Paul still felt a creeping sense of paranoia that Joan was hiding something. Then again, he was no stranger to paranoid thinking, and either way he was just too exhausted - both mentally and physically - to investigate as much as he knew he should.

He honestly didn’t know how he still woke up every morning just to work himself to the edge of nervous collapse. Or how he resisted that sweet, sweet temptation to just shoot up too much liquid bliss and end it all. He’d been lingering on the edge of death like this for years, ever since David had convinced Paul to stay strong for the New Frontier after his husband had been torn apart by walkers. A small smile graced Paul’s face and dispelled some of the bitterness etched into his brow. The thought of his fellow leader, his hard-as-nails lover who had more than enough grit and hardiness for the both of them, was the main reason he really chose to get up every day. It was enough to make him power through the exhaustion and apathy. 

Just as he was about to allow his mind to wander into the memories of the night after his husband’s death, the night when David had held him and shown another side of himself, Paul heard the door to the emergency wing open and felt relief flood his body. He leaned forward and reached for the desk drawer that held his drugs, first slipping out the cord to tie around his arm, then a clean syringe and the glass bottle. He heard David’s footsteps drawing closer and cringed: he looked like shit, he knew it. He still had blood smeared all over him, and his hair was probably greasy and stuck out at awkward angles. He quickly ran his hand through his hair to at least give it a more tousled look, and just then the door of the office opened to reveal David.

“Hey baby,” Paul greeted, unable to help the mushy grin that involuntarily plastered itself across his face. His smile faltered when he noticed the harshness in David’s expression. He definitely wasn’t happy. “What’s wrong? Raiders?”

“No,” David said, shaking his head and crossing his arms. He slowly walked up to the desk, looking anywhere but at Paul. He appeared conflicted, which frightened Paul. David always knew what to say and what to do, he’d  _ never  _ looked like this before.

“David, you’re scaring me. What happened?” Paul white knuckled the bottle of drugs and felt his hand twitch out of nervousness when David finally looked at him.

“I have to talk to you about Kate, the woman you treated earlier. She’s, uh, she’s my wife, from before...” he trailed off and Paul immediately felt his delicate stability, roughly equivalent to a house of glass, begin to crack under the weight of this news. So  _ that’s _ who the stranger had been. David hadn’t said anything about her, and she’d seemed so fixated on David’s brother that Paul had just assumed she was his brother’s girl. David sighed while Paul grappled with his emotions; he felt that he might faint if he tried to stand up.

“Oh,” Paul said with the faint blandness of someone who was trying to keep themselves numb while too many emotions threatened to take over. He was terrified of being blunt and just asking David if it was over, so he would let the other man shoulder the hard part. As always.

“I just...wanted you to hear it from me, instead of through the grapevine. Didn’t want you to feel discarded and ignored,” David finally said after an excruciating stretch of silence. “And just...this isn’t easy for me either, dammit,” he snarled, suddenly lashing out and slamming his fist down on the desk. The shock of it jolted Paul out of his fragile balance and the sting of hot tears finally began to prickle his eyes.

“I get it. It’s fine. I get it,” he insisted, wanting nothing more than this moment to be over so he could finally induct himself into that blissful black limbo of nothingness once and for all. He’d make it easy for David, it was the best way to repay him for faking it so long in order to keep New Frontier’s precious surgeon alive. His apprentice was impressive and he was sure the kid could handle himself relatively well if thrown into the thick of it.

Richmond didn’t need him anymore.

“No, you  _ don’t  _ get it. Have you ever had to fucking choose between two people you loved?” David snarled. “I missed her so,  _ so  _ fucking much, but…” he trailed off again and put both palms on the edge of the desk, gritting his teeth in an attempt to check his frustration.

“You love me?” Paul whispered, his grip finally relaxing enough to let the drug bottle clatter to the floor. David wasn’t an emotional man and had never said it back, despite Paul having said it multiple times in the heat of the moment while they were having sex.

“I...well that’s what it has to be, right? Fuck, I was as straight as they came before the goddamn world ended, I’d never even checked out a man in my life, but you...I don’t know. Being with a woman felt like cheating on Kate, but I needed someone so I'd started thinking, what about men? And you...you were just so vulnerable. I felt like I had to take care of you, and yeah I was faking it at first to keep you from checking out and fucking us over, but...it hasn’t been fake for a while,” he said, hanging his head and staring down at the stained metal of the desk with a forlorn look on his face.

“Then just tell her you found someone else,” Paul pleaded, desperate for David to choose him over the woman he hadn’t seen in god knows how long.

“I  _ can’t,  _ Paul. I can’t,” David murmured, pushing himself away from the desk. “This has to stop, we have to stop.” His voice had now taken on the same harsh edge it’d had when he first came in. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

Paul flopped back into the chair and groaned out a defeated sob. David had been the bandage over the wound his husband had left. Now with that bandage gone, it felt like losing both of them at the same time. He’d never really allowed himself to grieve his husband, he’d just forced all of his attention onto David and kept moving forward.

David glanced down at Paul as he sobbed. He looked guilty and pained, with worry shining bright through his brown eyes as he realized how compromised Paul now was. He rounded the desk and reached out to slip a tan hand through Paul’s unkempt hair, then slipped his hand down under Paul’s chin. The bereft man looked up at him through bleary eyes and tried to pull his face away, but David only gripped him harder to keep him in place.

“I promise you, if she doesn’t want to be with me anymore or she dies, I’ll come back to you. And please...don’t hurt yourself. For me, Paul. Promise me,” David said. He’d meant for it to sound loving, but instead it came out like an order.

“Okay,” Paul sobbed, reaching up and smashing David’s warm, calloused hand into his pale, wet cheek. David let the touch linger for a few moments before he pulled his hand away and turned to leave. He felt sick, and he knew that his resolve might crack if he stayed too long. So he walked, and kept walking, until he was at Kate’s bedside. He caressed her sleeping cheek and grimaced when he heard Paul hurry down the hallway to find somewhere more private to cry.

He felt like a monster, but that wasn’t a surprise. He’d already been one for years.

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr and Twitter: Maedhros36
> 
> I hope you enjoyed <3


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